This topic is very important for me to talk about, this issue hits close to my heart, I was raped when I was 10. Do you know that it took me most of my life to be able to say that so freely?! Times were different then, in the 70's and all. Society was different you didn't talk about things like that as freely as you can now a days. And for as far as knowledge? Or any preventive information concerning rape, well, there just wasn't any. I didn't help any for me that my mother was not comfortable talking about anything, especially sexual things, my father talked to me about the "birds & the bees". As far as knowledge on these things, and what a girl needs to know to protect herslef from being raped again there was really no talk about it. Being I was just 10, and having a mother who wouldn't talk about it, and who was more concerned with anyone finding this out, I didn't know that what happened to me even had a name! I didn't find out that what happened to me was called rape until the next year or so when I entered into the Mioddle School! I choose to include this important topic in this site, and share what happened to me because I want to spread as much preventive information to as many young girls as I possibly can. Then maybe I can have some closure on my rape, the guy who raped me haunted me my whole life, in my mind and in my real life, he never paid for it (well I believe the Universe gave me justice, he's a Heroine junkie today) and I know he did this to other girls, so by keeping just one young girl from being raped is worth talking about it.
Now there is a couple of different types of sexual assault, there is rape by a stranger, there is rape by someone you know called ďdate rapeĒ, just because you go out on a date with a guy does not mean you owe him anything, when you say ďNOĒ itís ďNOĒ! If any sexual advances are forced on you itís still rape, whether you no the guy or not. Educate yourself on ďdate rapeĒ drugs. They can be slipped into a drink when you are not looking. Never leave your drink unattended no matter where you are. Try to always be aware of your surroundings.
Date rape drugs make a person unable to resist assault and can cause memory loss so the victim doesnít know what happened. It's Not Your Fault Whatever happened, it wasn't your fault. No one has the right to have sex with you against your will. The blame for a rape lies solely with the rapist. Sometimes a rapist will try to exert even more power by making the person who's been raped feel like it was actually his or her fault. A rapist may say stuff like, "You asked for it" or "You wanted it." This is just another way for the rapist to take control. The truth is that what a person wears, what a person says, or how a person acts or dresses, is never a justification for rape. Most people who are raped know their rapists.
That can sometimes lead the person who's been raped to try to protect the perpetrator. Make protecting yourself your priority; don't worry about protecting the person who raped you If you want to report the crime, do so. If you don't feel comfortable reporting it, though, you don't have to. Do whatever helps you feel safe and heal ó without blaming yourself. Rape is about power, not sex. A rapist uses actual force or violence or the threat of it to take control over another human being. Some rapists use drugs to take away a person's ability to fight back. Rape is a crime, whether the person committing it is a stranger, a date, an acquaintance, or a family member. No matter how it happened, rape is frightening and traumatizing. People who have been raped need care, comfort, and a way to heal.
The first thing if you have been raped you need to do is see a Doctor. Or get to a hospital emergency room have doctors and counselors it's important to get medical care because a doctor will need to check you for sexually transmitted diseases. Most areas have local rape hotlines listed in the phone book that can give you advice about where to go for medical help. You may want to have a friend or family member go along for support, especially if you're feeling upset and unsafe. Some rape crisis centers also provide advocates who can go along with you. You can also call the national sexual assault hotline at (800) 656-HOPE. rape exams are kept confidential, but some will require that a parent or guardian be notified If you are under 18.
You should get medical attention right away without changing your clothes, showering, douching, or washing. It can be hard not to clean up, of course ó it's a natural human instinct to wash away all traces of a sexual assault. But being examined right away is the best way to ensure you get proper medical treatment. Immediate medical attention also helps when people decide to report the crime, providing evidence needed to prosecute the rapist if a criminal case is pursued. If you've been raped and think you don't want to report it, you could change your mind later this often happens and having the results of a rape kit can help you do this. be sure you know how long you have to report the rape. A local rape crisis center can tell you this information.
Even if you don't get examined right away, it doesn't mean you can't get a checkup later. It's always best to see a doctor immediately after a rape, of course. But a person can still go to a doctor or local clinic to get checked out for STDs, pregnancy, or injuries any time after being raped. In some cases, doctors can even gather evidence several days after a rape has occurred. But if you plan on reporting it donít wait get to the hospital as fast as you can, itís best to get to the Hospital as fast as you can either way And please donít keep it to yourself!! Please tell someone you have nothing to be ashamed of, you did nothing wrong, you are a victim in all of this. Find someone you trust and tell them, I regret more then you can imagian not telling someone of athority when I was raped, because i live with the guilt of not telling someone and allowing that bastard to rape others, if I had forced my parents to go to the police I might have saved another of being raped by him. I come from a different era, plus I was only 10, I didn't even know what had happened to me had a name until about a year later, when I found out I was what was called rape, it felt like I was raped all over again! even though i did eventually tell someone, my parents did nothing about it, it was hush, hush what would her friends think!
My rape was 32 years ago, I let this guy destroy my life by not dealing with what happened to me. I never talked about it to anyone esle I believed my n whole life that no one believed me, so kept it to myself who have been trained to take care of someone who has been raped. I let it eat at me, I lived in fear of this guy, he stalked me all through my school years, it wasn't until I was 40 that I finally let it go, I stopped giving him the power to control my life. Now he fears me! Donít be foolish like I was, although I was only 10 years old, I was so lacking in knowledge that I didnít even know that what happened to me had a name! When I learned what rape was and that, that is what happened to me, it felt like I was raped all over again. This is why it so important to be knowledgeable in life. My Daughter is 10 now and it freaks me out that, that's how old I was when my childhood ended. I am not afraid to tell her about anything, there is no bashfulness here in our house, she needs to know as much as possible to keep her from being in a situation that she does not know how to handle, she also has been in karate since she was 5 and is now a black belt, so I feel confident that she will be okay out there in the world when she goes out in it! This is the purpose of this book/blog, to make sure as many young girls are equipped with the knowledge to help you make the right decisions and to help you when put in a bad situation.
So lets wrap this up, remember NO means NO!! Guys will do and say what they need to to get what they want, if sex, is forced on you that is rape even if it is a guy you know, becareful of leaving your drinks alone when out at a party, or restaurant drugs can be slipped into it, always now what is around you, know where the exits are, just be alert to who is around you, donít walk alone late at night, donít ever get in a car with a stranger, or someone you just met, and if you ever are raped donít be afraid to talk to someone and get help as fast as you can. Just be smart and remember... Knowledge is what?.......thats right Power!!